How much of the holidays do you spend listening to people tell you directly, or indirectly how much rubbish you are? Is that fun? Is it true? If not and you'd like something different, play this game. Whenever you sense someone is looking to criticize, hurt, insult, or provoke you, smile, nod gently and – without heat – reply “interesting point of view”. You are acknowledging their viewpoint and allowing them to enjoy it. You're not agreeing they're right, and you're not being distracted by falling into an angry, emotional reaction, which is often what they really want so they can control you. If you need to pull the heat out of an intense onslaught, say “You're right. I'm wrong” three times. Our addiction to right and wrong, good and bad is one of the strongest we have. These two magic phrases will invite the energy of allowance into your holidays. Just think, if everyone were in allowance, could family feuds, neighboring conflicts, and even war, fall over like dominoes?
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Do you encounter many angry people in your life? When people do anger, are they ever really interested in hearing your point of view? Or is their main focus getting a reaction out of you? Are they interested in you being free to say and do what you prefer? Or are they looking to control you? You know exact the moment your buttons are pushed and you become trapped in emotional reaction. Would you like to be free of that auto-response? If so, next time someone does anger at you, be Cute Not Bright. Stop and ask them “OK, what do you mean by that?” and listen. Keep asking the same question and listen until the anger has gone. Anger is a distractor people will use against you to see how you'll react, so they can find a way to gain control over you. Acknowledging the other person like this will take you out of reaction and into action to create the life you'd like.
Do you sometimes feel like you have no options? For example, you have NO CHOICE but to look after your elderly parents, make your kids do homework, stay late at the office, cancel your holiday, pay for dinner, host the family at Christmas, get married, get a job, buy a house, have kids...[enter your own disgruntlement here]. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of these things. It's simply your point of view if you don't like something. If your point of view is that you don't like it and you'd prefer something else, instead of defaulting to the No Choice version of life, ask “Who or what is limiting my choices?” Once you become clear about whether it's you, or someone or something else limiting your choices, you can more questions to create what you'd really like, for example “What else is possible?” or “What will it take for X to show up?” This is a free-will universe, remember? There is always choice. What if you stopped being your greatest limitation?
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